A MAN FROM PARADISE

 Anas ibn Malik narrates that he was sitting with the Messenger of Allah who said: 

A man among the inhabitants of Paradise will appear before you.

And a man from the Ansar appeared before them. The next day, the Prophet said the same thing and the same man appeared again, and this happened on the third day too. So when the Prophet got up and left the gathering, Abdullah bin Umar bin Aas decided to follow that man. So he asked him to host him three nights in his house, and the man welcomed him. Until when the three nights passed by, Abdullah ibn Amr said to him: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) say three times.

A man among the inhabitants of Paradise will appear before you.

And you appeared on each of those occasions three times, so I wished to stay with you, in order to look at what it is you actually do [that makes you such a person] ? Hence I followed you but did not see you do many acts of worship. So what is it that you do that allowed you to reach what the Prophet told us? So the man responded: I do not do much except what you saw other than the fact that I do not find in my heart hatred and rancor against any of the believers. And I am not jealous against any of them for the good that Allah may have given them. So this tremendous companion of the Prophet was of those who never envied nor hated another. He ensured there was nothing in his heart that would lead to enmity against another human being. Rather his way was of forgiving and letting be, to pardon and to be tolerant and magnanimous. So he ensured that he never slept except that his heart was free of rancor and full of contentment. Being pure of spirit, his mind was at rest and free of worries. In the same spirit Imam Shafi is reported to have said:

When I forgave and let go of hatred of another

My self was at rest from the grief of enemies.

O Slaves of Allah:

This is the worth and value of a forgiving nature to one who embodies it. This is a noble human value, a truly moral virtue that was emphasized in the previous heavenly revelations. Before being further emphasized by our pure religion, which is a religion of the highest of values. Honoring morality with a high degree of honor, taking care of it with a high amount of care. And the characteristic of forgiveness and showing pardon is a tremendous thing, and a noble stationer for this Sahabi was given the glad tidings of Paradise as a result of embodying it. Whilst all the while he lives in this world walking amongst people, keeping his heart pure. Forgiving and pardoning them, as a means of obedience to his Lord, and to draw near to His creator. Who loves that people be forgiven and commands this, as Allah said to His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him): 

Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.

Similarly, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) called his companions to embody such forgiveness stating: 

O Uqbah ibn Amir: Reconnect with whoever has severed you and give to whoever denies you, and pardon whoever may have oppressed you.

O You who believe: Allah says: 

But pardon them and overlook [their misdeeds]. Indeed, Allah loves the doers of good.

So the doers of good are those loved by Allah, for the purity of their hearts. And the peace of their hearts, being the purity of their inward and outward. He will reward them for their pardon and benevolence. So He in turn forgives them, as they in turn forgave others:

If [instead] you show [some] good or conceal it or pardon an offense - indeed, Allah is ever Pardoning and Competent.

In other words if you forgive others Allah will forgive you. He shall reward them with a great reward, as Allah says:

But whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah.

Victory to him who pardons and exonerates, and holds no grudges and happiness for him who forgives and excuses, and bears no resentment.

O you who love to pardon:

The opportunities for pardoning encompass all aspects of our lives. What a beautiful thing it would be to bring and infuse the moral trait of pardoning into our interactions and behavior in both our social and family life. Thus, each of the married spouses pardons the shortcomings and pardons the faults of the other. This way of pardoning creates an atmosphere filled with compassion and love and a culture imbued with tranquility and affection. Which in turn produces peace and love, enabling happy children, and a well-knit and bonded family and successful married life. Allah Almighty addresses the husbands and wives saying:

And to forego it is nearer to righteousness. And do not forget graciousness between you.

Amongst the various forms of pardoning is the pardoning that exists amongst siblings (brothers and sisters) and next of kin.

How often do you see two brothers engaged in lengthy arguments between them, each one believing that he is right. But then when one of them hastens to show pardon, the other matches him with forgiveness and love and relinquishes his right out of affection for him and desiring to maintain family ties. This happens when the act of pardoning removes the veil of aggression and animosity from the hearts. And then pure love and true affection emanate from them. Our Lord, Allah, the Supreme-Pardoner and Oft-Forgiving, has spoken the truth when He says:

Repel (evil) with what is best, and you will see that the one you had mutual enmity with him will turn as if he were a close friend.

So then pure love and true affection emanate from them. The circle of opportunities to exercise pardon is spacious and wide to encompass relatives, neighbors, friends, work colleagues fellow students, and all people in all walks of life and all levels of relationships.

THE CIVILIZED BEHAVIOUR

Dear Muslims,

Please know that good conducts are one of the most important pillars for building civilisations. With good ethics communities become more coherent and stronger. This was illustrated by the Prophet pbuh when he said, "Indeed, I was sent to perfect good manners."

Good morals are the foundation of civilisations and with them nations develop. Indeed, the prosperity of a community is firmly linked to the civilised values embraced by its members and their adherence to them.

Allah, the Almighty, with His Wisdom has decreed that good deeds which are beneficial to people are the durable ones. He says, "as for the foam, it vanishes, [being] cast off; but as for that which benefits the people, it remains on the earth. Thus does Allah present examples." (Ar-Raad: 17).

Going deeper into the meaning of human civilised behaviour, it is the product of a person's noble characters which translate into an ideal way of speaking to and treating others. Those emanate from one's uppermost values and decent merits that respect the norms and traditions of their community and adhere to its laws and regulations. These would also be set according to certain standards that are laid down for the best interests of human beings in this world and in the Hereafter.

In this context, amongst of the finest manners are the good word of mouth and being kind when dealing with others. These are the same principles highlighted by our tolerant religion. Allah, the Almighty, says, "and speak to people good [words]." (Al-Baqara: 83). In the same regard, the Messenger of Allah pbuh said, "Behave well towards people."

Furthermore, in His Book, Allah, the Most Exalted, highlighted the importance of treating others decently. He says, "and if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you." (Al-Imran: 159).

To this effect, if a person commits a mistake, he is urged to apologise using the best of words and the finest and most likable expressions. One should also express sincere thanks and gratitude to others for excusing him. In return, we are expected to pardon others and accept their apologies if they mistreat us. This is because the culture of tolerance and justifying others' flaws is conducive to nurture a culture of constructive dialogue amongst people, which ultimately would enhance harmony and good ties within the community.

Other key qualities that are urged in this sense include cooperation on goodness and righteousness, extending helping hand during hardships as well as joyful occasions. Allah, the Most High, urges us to embrace such noble value for He says, "and cooperate in righteousness and piety." (Al-Maaida: 2).   

Such cooperation is built on mercy, kindness and knowing one another. Allah, the Almighty says, "O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted." (Al-Hujurat: 13).

Brothers and sisters;

There are many types and traits for the civilised behaviour, which covers all aspects of man's life. For instance, good appearance, nice clothing and cleanliness are amongst the key civilised behaviours that were emphasised in the holy Quran. Allah, the Most Exalted, says, "O children of Adam, take your adornment at every masjid." (Al-Aaraf: 31).

In like manner, the Prophet pbuh urged his companions, may Allah be pleased with them, to take good care of their appearance so as to be amongst the best looking people and set example to others.

On the other hand, the Messenger of Allah pbuh disapproved neglecting one's appearance. It was narrated that Jaber ibn Abdullah, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "The Messenger of Allah pbuh paid visit to us, and saw a dishevelled man whose hair was disordered. He said, 'could this man not find something to put his hair in order?' He saw another man wearing dirty clothes and said, 'could this man not find something to wash his garments with?'"

On another level, one of the other good characters that the Messenger of Allah pbuh called for is respecting the road manners. He pbuh said, "Give the road its due right." Truly, honouring road manners represents a civilised behaviour that, in turn, embodies respect to the rights of road goers.

Abiding by the rules and regulations related to using the public areas has a great effect in highlighting polished and civilised conducts. More importantly, it is conducive to safeguard people's lives and keep them away from discomfort. As such, all those who use the public areas should embrace such civilised manners and be consistent on implementing them.

On another note, a civilised person would always seek to perfect his work and be committed to it. They would also strive to better themselves both in knowledge and skill. This way, one would deliver the best quality of work, innovate in their performance and ensure to make best use of their time as well as respect that of others by keeping appointments and fulfilling commitments. Allah, the Most Gracious, says, "and the covenant of Allah fulfill. This has He instructed you that you may remember." (Al-Anaam: 152).

This means Allah, the Almighty, instructs you to fulfil your promise and stressed on doing so that you may be guided. A covenant means a documented undertaking, while fulfilling the covenant means that a person does what one has promised to do. Indeed, honouring promises is a civilised and righteous behaviour that reflects sound thinking, strong character and respect to one's word of mouth.

Allah, the Most High, praised His Prophet Ismael puh for his honesty and commitment towards his promises. He says, "and mention in the Book, Ishmael. Indeed, he was true to his promise, and he was a messenger and a prophet." (Mariam: 54).

Furthermore, Allah, the Almighty, praises the people of understanding and wisdom as being committed to their word and fulfilling to their promises for He says, "they will only be reminded who are people of understanding, those who fulfil the covenant of Allah and do not break the contract." (Ar-Raad: 19-20).

Dear brothers and sisters;

Civilised behaviour is acquired from home and family. Naturally, children when born will be as clear as a white sheet of paper. The responsibility of filling such sheet lies with the parents who nurse them and nurture all good ethics into their minds and souls.

Parents are responsible for raising their children on good conducts and direct them to seek beneficial knowledge and high status. This is why parents are accountable towards Allah, the Most Gracious, for their kids on the Day of Judgment. Schools also carry equally important role in instilling the noble human values and behaviours in the minds and hearts of children. This is conducive to help the children in contributing to preserving their nation's civilisation and hone their skills and manners through positively interacting with others.

Please be aware, that the most important thing we should advise each other about is obeying Allah, the Most Glorious, as befitting to His Glorious Status, be steadfast on adhering to His orders, and know that civilised manners have a great positive impact on individuals. Through refined conducts one will, by Allah's grace, attain great provisions in this life and the next. Civilised people would earn Allah's satisfaction and people's respect and thereby be close to their heart.

On this account, the Prophet pbuh said, "If Allah loves a person, He calls Jibril (Gabriel) saying, 'Allah loves so and so; O Gabriel, love him.' Jibril would love him, and then Jibril would make an announcement among the dwellers of the Heaven, 'Allah loves so-and-so, therefore, you should love him also.' So, all the dwellers of the Heavens would love him and then he is granted the pleasure of the people of the earth."

Those who embrace good ethics would also, by Allah's favour, be successful in their work, excelling in their life, tolerant towards others and interactive with their real life, reflecting thereby a bright and praiseworthy image about their homeland.

Truly, when civilised conducts become the norm within a community, its members would cherish advancement, prosperity, maturity, strength and welfare. Thus, it is a duty incumbent on all of us to promote such civilised ethics and implement the principles of Islam, which represents the highest degrees of civilised behaviour.  

KHADIJAH THE GREAT

The first wife of the Prophet, the first woman in Islam was: Khadijah (may Allah bless her), the Mother of the Believers, the leader of all the women in creation. Pure and noble, she was of great intelligence and discernment; in that she chose the master of creation as a husband. For when he reached twenty-five years, and when she learnt the truthfulness of his speech, the immensity of his trustworthiness, the nobility of his character, the fair-mindedness of his opinions, she summoned for him.

 She then said: "I shall give you double of what I give a person from your people, that you become a merchant with my money". The Prophet accepted the offer. When he returned back from the Caravan, he came back with double the amount of profit  or the like. So she sent for him and said to him: "O son of my uncle, indeed I am hopeful to be related to you, by your position in your community, the immensity of your faithfulness, the nobility of your character, the truthfulness of your speech."

So the Prophet married her. So her house was full of love and the happiness of married love. She was distinguished by the inherent wisdom she had in her words and speech. She spent of her money and the Prophet continued to engage in trade on her behalf. Until he reached the age of forty and the revelation first descended. When his initial experience was to fear for himself, and he was in need for someone to support him, she was the one who reassured and calmed his fear, giving him peace through the words:

كَلَّا وَاللَّهِ مَا يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا

By Allah - Allah will never disappoint you.

She went with him to her cousin Waraqah bin Nawfal, requesting him to interpret what had happened, so she said: " O cousin, listen to your nephew." So the Prophet informed Waraqah about the events that had befallen, at which point Waraqah gave them the glad tidings of Prophethood.

Khadijah (may Allah bless her) was the first person to have revelation descend in her house, the first to become Muslim with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), the first to pray with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).

The Prophet used to love Khadijah immensely, he said:

إِنِّي قَدْ رُزِقْتُ حُبَّهَا

I was blessed with love for her

This was no doubt because of her great intelligence, her firmness of faith, the beauty of her love, kindness of her speech, the concern and care of her companionship, her expending of her wealth and her great patience in facing the tribulations that were to face them. She always had contentment, being a strong believer in Allah. The Prophet was blessed through her with: Qasim, Abdullah, two sons both of whom died young, and four daughters: Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with them all. She was an immensely compassionate woman. Noble and generous. Always caring for her sons and daughters, she would not spare an effort when it came to their eternal happiness.

When her daughter Zaynab got married, she gave her a precious necklace to wear it the first time she would meet her husband Abu Aas. And in compensation for what Khadijah (may Allah bless her) had given for Islam, towards the end of her life, the Angel Jibril descended and gave her glad tidings in her house, saying to the Prophet:

هَذِهِ خَدِيجَةُ قَدْ أَتَتْ مَعَهَا إِنَاءٌ فِيهِ إِدَامٌ، أَوْ طَعَامٌ أَوْ شَرَابٌ، فَإِذَا هِيَ أَتَتْكَ فَاقْرَأْ عَلَيْهَا السَّلَامَ مِنْ رَبِّهَا وَمِنِّي، وَبَشِّرْهَا بِبَيْتٍ فِي الْجَنَّةِ مِنْ قَصَبٍ، لَا صَخَبَ فِيهِ وَلَا نَصَبَ

This is Khadija coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (i.e. Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a Qasab palace in Paradise wherein there will be neither any noise nor any fatigue (trouble) . "





In other words her home would be from arranged pearls. This would be in reward for all the fatigue that she exerted in support of her husband. How she gave him contentment during difficult times. Making easy for him every difficulty. This is why she was deservedly called from the best women of Paradise, as the Prophet said:

أَفْضَلُ نِسَاءِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ: خَدِيجَةُ بِنْتُ خُوَيْلِدٍ، وَفَاطِمَةُ بِنْتُ مُحَمَّدٍ، وَآسِيَةُ بِنْتُ مُزَاحِمٍ امْرَأَةُ فِرْعَوْنَ، وَمَرْيَمُ ابْنَةُ عِمْرَانَ

The Best of women of Paradise are: Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatimah bint Muhammad, Asiyyah bint Muzahim, the wife of the Pharaoh, and Maryam bint Imran.

Whenever the Prophet would remember her he would say:

قَدْ آمَنَتْ بِي إِذْ كَفَرَ بِي النَّاسُ، وَصَدَّقَتْنِي إِذْ كَذَّبَنِي النَّاسُ، وَوَاسَتْنِي بِمَالِهَا إِذْ حَرَمَنِي النَّاسُ، وَرَزَقَنِي اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَلَدَهَا إِذْ حَرَمَنِي أَوْلَادَ النِّسَاءِ

She was the one who believed in me when no-one did, she was the one who said I was truthful when the people said I lied, she was the one who spread her wealth for me when others deprived me and she was the one I was blessed by Allah to have my children with when Allah gave me no children through other women [The Prophet would later have Ibrahim from Maria al-Qibtiyya, who died young in his infancy]

This is sufficient evidence for the preservation of love of one's wife, the need to honor her family, to do this during her life and even if she was to die before one. What an example there is for husbands in seeing how the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to honour his wives, and what an example there is for wives in seeing how the mothers of the believers, may Allah be pleased with them all, interacted with the Prophet.

It is clear that women are the counterpart and partners of men, and they are partners in the doing of good deeds and their reward, all of this is confirmed

by the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) when he said:

نَعَمْ إِنَّمَا النِّسَاءُ شَقَائِقُ الرِّجَالِ

Woman are counterpart of men.

And in this regard Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her, was a model of excellence for what it means to be a distinguished woman in her social and practical affairs, and what it means to be a good wife. She was not only a wife and mother, but she as also a successful businesswoman as the books of biography and history have recorded many prominent models of women who were pioneers in industry and work, Khadijah is the greatest of them.

From such women we find women becoming doctors, teachers, great poets, and so on. Hence it is good for parents to direct their daughters and children to read about them, to learn from their lives, to take lessons and benefit from their careers, all of which will help enable a society and noble generation of ethics and behavior, pioneering in knowledge and ethics.